Some individuals, after attaining a good education and reaching high positions and prosperity, unexpectedly experience a decline and withdrawal. This downward spiral may be attributed to the weight of mistakes that have occurred at some point in life. I have an experience to share about a friend of mine who fits this description. He held a prominent position in both his home country and abroad, thanks to his excellent education.
From the beginning, he engaged in activities that didn't align well with his job, crossing the thin line between right and wrong. He frequently associated with somewhat dubious friendships. Even back then, I who had observed this from a distance had foreseen the potential danger in this. However, my admiration for his abilities and talents provided me with comfort at the time. He achieved significant financial prosperity. Meanwhile, stories about him started circulating in the town. These tales revolved around unauthorized moves for financial gain, exploiting his official position. Whether true or false, I heard that he completed his stint abroad and returned home after a while. Subsequently, there was a prolonged period with no information about him.
Curiosity led me to enquire of some people I was connected to regarding his whereabouts. I received an intriguing response, stating that he was living secluded from everyone, overshadowed by irrational fear. He had severed almost all social and cultural ties. To say the least, there was a prevailing rumour in the town that even those who visited his house were allowed in only after a thorough check.
The life of a person who studied well, reached a good position, and achieved financial prosperity, but turned this way saddened me. I had the opportunity to meet him once by chance, but he refused to reveal anything. His response to the question of how he lives now was somewhat amusing. "I can live independently without harming anyone; that is a great fortune," he said. For some reason, I accepted that answer thanks to the beauty of that response. I asked him if, why he couldn't do something for the betterment of society after achieving so much luck. He responded negatively when I asked about providing financial support to those who were struggling. I understood his mood and parted with a mechanical handshake. It was later, when I met some of his old friends, that I realized he didn't maintain the same friendship with them either.
Material achievements, such as wealth and status, should ultimately bestow peace and tranquillity upon a human being. I was convinced that he had lost that. It is literally a life of hiding. Even while claiming satisfaction with it, he was irrationally afraid of every knock on the door of his house and every ring of the phone - the constant state of being startled and shivering, akin to the character Ananthan Namboothiri played by Thilakan in the popular film 'Naadodikattu' of the 80s! We can observe many people around us enslaved by such meaningless fear. The burden of the sin of a crime or mistake that happened at some stage of life is leading many to this state. And this condition is present in many of us, irrespective of age.
What solutions we have to erase guilt from our minds! There is no human being who does not err. It is necessary to identify the mistake, correct it, learn a lesson from it, and move on with more vigour. Otherwise, we will find ourselves confined to the shell we have built ourselves. We risk becoming irrelevant to ourselves through a secret life, withdrawing from all social and cultural relationships. There will also be a situation where we cannot sleep peacefully even for a night, not to mention other physical and mental torment.
If all the educational qualifications, positions, and financial prosperity we have achieved through hard work ultimately leave us with a lonely life, then what is the meaning of that life? The money earned through hard work may add weight to our bank account or provide security to our nominees. But all that surrounds us are currency notes that can be eaten by moths, a gold collection that loses its lustre, and decorative sculptures that succumb to rust. But what benefit did they gain from it?
Many people may have made mistakes in their student or youth days. We must find ways to atone for it without carrying it as a burden on our minds forever. Sometimes it may be possible to overcome that sense of guilt through good deeds. If the mistake we made is related to any individual, we should not hesitate to ask them for forgiveness. For believers, there are many solutions based on spirituality.
By forgiving, we can experience a sense of relief and fulfilment, like lifting a heavy tombstone off our heads. Unfortunately, some people still choose to carry the tombstone, missing the opportunity to return to a meaningful life.
There are many invisible hands that can help us rise from our failures — the hands of love and compassion. Let us not sink ourselves into the depths of despair but live a life full of hope and anticipation.
Let us borrow the words of the famous poet Alexander Pope, who enriched 18th-century life with his sublime thoughts:
'To err is human, to forgive divine.”