Thiruvananthapuram: Trying to force an incompatible marriage to continue can cause greater harm, and couples who can no longer sustain a healthy relationship should consider dignified separation and co-parenting when children are involved, Dr Adeela Abdulla IAS, has said.
In a Facebook post, Adeela stressed that the welfare and emotional well-being of children must remain central when marriages break down. Her views were based on the experience of a friend who approached her seeking help over the possibility of filing a counter-case against his wife.
The couple, who have four children, had reportedly struggled to live peacefully for even a month. Constant arguments took place both in the presence of their children and behind closed doors, eventually prompting Adeela to question the purpose of continuing such a marriage.
She likened an incompatible relationship to ingredients that fail to blend, arguing that forcing people to remain together despite big differences can push them into prolonged conflict, legal battles and financial disputes. The emotional damage caused to children, she noted, can remain with them long after the marriage has ended.
Adeela also pointed to the social pressure surrounding troubled marriages, with families, neighbours, local bodies and religious committees often becoming involved before couples finally consider divorce.
She said society should also recognise that separation can be handled with dignity, allowing former partners to remain friends, co-parent responsibly and eventually rebuild their lives, including through remarriage. This, she clarified, does not mean every marriage should end in divorce. However, where separation is necessary, it should not be made unnecessarily difficult.
She advocated co-parenting as a constructive alternative that allows both parents to continue sharing responsibility for raising their children without forcing them to remain trapped in a toxic relationship.